TV Review: Centurion

Let the blood run free

Sat, June 29. Channel 7 9.30pm (AEST)

What’s it all about? In AD 117, a band of Roman Centurions fight for survival in the Scottish Highlands.

The Verdict: Centurion isn’t perfect but if you can stomach the blood it’s a suitably slick and thrilling ride.

3.5/5.0 from me, David.

Based on a 2,000 year old legend that tells of the mysterious disappearance of the invading Roman Ninth Legion in Scotland, Centurion opens in AD 117 as the Roman Empire’s mass land occupation reaches a stalemate in Britain’s north. 

A territory war is being waged between Roman armed forces and a vicious cluster of tribes known as the Picts and Roman Centurion Quintas Dias (Michael Fassbender, Inglourious Basterds) bare-chested and bound, is on the run from his Pictish captors. 

"It may not be in the same league as Gladiator in terms of spectacle but Centurion prefers to travel a darker path with a focus on the relentlessness of survival. If you can stomach the blood, it’s a suitably slick and thrilling ride."

Saved by the Ninth Legion, led by General Titus Virilus (Dominic West, The Wire), Quintas’ loyalty is secured and he vows to lead the Legion’s few remaining soldiers to asylum after they survive a bloody attack by the Picts.

What follows is a game of cat and mouse as the small band of men fight for survival in the freezing, forbidding Scottish Highlands, the Picts, spear-headed (pardon the pun) by the cold blooded super huntress Etain (former Bond girl Olga Kurylenko) in dogged pursuit.

Does my bum look big in this?

While director Neil Marshall’s screenplay, brought to life amidst the spectacular Scottish wilderness,  may raise questions of historical veracity ( Marshall freely admits he used his imagination to fill in the gaps), Centurion, unlike the more conservative Gladiator, pulls no punches in its portrayal of battle. Ultra violent and gruesome, this is bloodletting on a grand scale. As the endless crimson tide spurts, almost comically at times, you can’t help but think that along with the grisly veracity, Marshall (who proved to be a gore lover with The Descent and Dog Soldiers) is getting a kick out of the blood sport. Look out for the stomach churning arrow-through-the-eyeball scene.

The staring content went on for hours and hours........

But there’s more than blood on display here. Sure it’s a dark tale with imagery filtered in murky blues and greens but amongst the bleakness there’s ample suspense, a touch of humour and romance and some reasonably well rounded characters. Fassbender brings understated gravitas to proceedings while Kurylenko, whose Etain has been rendered mute by the Romans, does surprisingly well in conjuring up pure evil. Whether the history books concur or not, this is one poster girl for lethal girl power way ahead of her time.

Centurion isn’t perfect but Marshall does bring a fresh spin to the sword-and-sandals genre giving it a modern sensibility; from rapid-fire action sequences to no-nonsense parlance  – “When will people learn not to fuck with the Ninth?” fumes Virulus – and a tongue-in-cheek sensibility.

The fire warden would surely be sacked

While it may not be in the same league as Gladiator in terms of spectacle (fear not role players, there’s sufficiently epic battle-porn on display) Centurion prefers to travel a darker path with a focus on the relentlessness of survival. If you can stomach the blood, it’s a suitably slick and thrilling ride.

This review was originally published on Trespass Magazine, July 2010.

Flashback: Blades of Glory

Hijinks on ice

For a casual passer by, the sight of two male, heterosexual Hollywood actors serenading each other to the tune of Aerosmith’s I Don't Want To Miss A Thing would be bemusing to say the least.

But for Jon Heder and Will Arnett it’s all part of the shenanigans of the promotional trail for their film, the Ben Stiller produced comedy Blades of Glory which takes aim at a sport ripe for lampooning, that of world champion pairs figure skating.

“It’s colourful, it’s got a lot of costumes and crazy characters, set pieces, make up and feathers." 

Heder, who gained cult status as the eponymous dry witted nerd Napoleon Dynamite plays the effete Jimmy MacElroy, a former child prodigy now a champion ice skater who comes to blows with his arch rival Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell again dusting of his brand of testosterone fuelled lunacy after Talladega Nights) at the ice skating world championships.

 As a consequence, both are banned from competing as individuals but in a canny loophole the enemies decide to team up as the first male paired figure skaters ever. 

Heder and Ferrell in all their glory

Arnett, best known for his scene stealing role as Gob Bluth in the acclaimed sitcom Arrested Development plays Stranz Van Waldenberg one half of an unnaturally close sibling pair (Arnett’s now ex-wife Amy Poehler - Baby Mama - plays his sister) out to make sure they don’t succeed.

Sitting on a mock Olympic podium on a metropolitan ice skating rink in Sydney, Heder and Arnett have skated out for a brief press conference after the assembled media has been regaled with routines from champion ice-skaters, a much more subdued affair compared to the campily amusing routines and costumes in the film.

Arnett and ex Poehler

First up a question regarding accusations that the movie ridicules the gay community. 

Heder responds in jest; 

“I think it’s just simply a love story between two men but in the sense of brotherly love.” 

Next up, did Heder’s amusing dance moves as Napoleon Dynamite assist his transition to the ice? 

“No, not at all,” he says unequivocally. 

“When you dance on a hard floor it’s much easier. It becomes a different language when you go on the ice because you don’t have control of your feet.”

Heder, who bravely suggested he wear a costume replete with peacock feathers in the film, reveals there was pain involved when FILMINK asks of the cast’s rigorous training regimen. 

“I actually broke my ankle during training so that kind of messed things up for a while,” he says. 

“I was off the ice for about 5 or 6 months. Most of us, aside from Will [Arnett] had to learn how to just skate in general on our own and then had to learn pairs skating along with that and then routines. Every single time we felt like we were doing pretty well they’d say ‘Oh well, here’s a new challenge’ and then we’d get down and try to kill ourselves….”

Spandex coated victory

Arnett, who grew up ice skating in Canada adds; 

“Everybody had to get up on their skating so there was a sense of camaraderie because we were all in this thing together.”

The earnestness thankfully doesn’t last long with the actors who share little actual screen time dropping gags at pace. Playing enemies in the film, they say, wasn’t a stretch. 

“Off the set, it was always me in my trailer thinking ‘How am I going to take out Will today?” jests Heder.

Heder jests that being a real life twin informed his portrayal of one half of a trail blazing male skating pair alongside the anarchic screen persona of Ferrell. 

“We shared everything,” he said “There were moments when we looked into each other’s eyes and I could read his thoughts. It wasn’t a pretty place….”

When asked why Blades of Glory achieved box office gold in the US Heder responded; 

“It’s colourful, it’s got a lot of costumes and crazy characters, set pieces, make up and feathers." 

"If you hate fun……” Arnett interjects, “Don’t come to it.”

Blades of Glory airs tonight on GO at 9.30pm

First published online at filmink.com.au, June 2007.

Celeb Twitter Tantrum

Seething Seal sees red

Ah the celebrity twitter rant, that impulsive brain snap that like the harshly worded email or text you wish you hadn’t sent, can’t be taken back. The latest celebrity to go into damage control after releasing a Twitter tirade was Seal who today apologised for letting off some steam online. No doubt his painted fingernails were blushing red.

“[He’s visited] homeless shelters, provide time and love for disabled kids, represent at the Logies and not to mention bring hope to aspiring artists... across the nation with his authenticity and heart,” he tweeted. “Yet having a joint in the privacy of his hotel room is worthy of front page news???”

His beef? The Australian “trash” media’s treatment of his good bud, fellow The Voice coach and Good Charlotte rocker Joel Madden after police found a small amount of cannabis in his hotel room at Sydney’s The Star casino on Sunday.

Seal gave big props to Madden’s apparent good deeds for the community and lamented the fact a rock star can’t enjoy a spliff without it becoming front page news.

“[He’s visited] homeless shelters, provide time and love for disabled kids, represent at the Logies and not to mention bring hope to aspiring artists... across the nation with his authenticity and heart,” he tweeted. “Yet having a joint in the privacy of his hotel room is worthy of front page news???”

A rockstar who smokes weed. Who knew?!!

The “trash media”, that very forum he and his co-coaches use to promote themselves and the singing contest they front were recklessly cutting his hard done by and by no means privileged spinning-chair colleagues down.

"Way to respect a guest in your country trash media, way to make us feel welcome,” Seal tweeted. “Keep it up..sure we’ll be back next year…. and yes, I say we……because it’s just a matter of time before you gun us all down. Hell, you even [do] it [to] you’re own @DeltaGoodrem who’s a national treasure!!

"It’s a shame. I for one will not stand by and watch you attempt to destroy my Brother, you gun one you gun us all!”

Seal then took a swipe at The Star casino who he alleged orchestrated that Madden visit a cancer patient staying at the casino while police searched his room only to then evict him when the drugs were found.

“Shame on the Star…..you ask him to meet n greet a cancer victim in your hotel then send police to his room?? Nice…very classy..keep it up Judas. I’m done here………can’t wait to go home."



Seal's apology for his Twitter rant



There’s no trace of these comments on Seal’s official Twitter feed now, just a clarification and an apology for letting rip.

“It’s been almost 11 weeks away from my kids and me saying “I can’t wait to go home” was me missing being home with them.”

“I want to say I have loved being in Australia, I’ve loved working on The Voice and with an incredibly talented group of Australian artists.”

“I want to apologise for my rant earlier. Joel is one of my best friends and I was really hurting for him.”

Perhaps Seal could learn something from Madden’s own graceful response to the ruckus he himself started.

“Sydney is my adopted home and I appreciate the way the NSW police handled the situation,” Madden said in a statement. “They have informed me there will be no charges. I hope this didn't cause too much drama for everyone."

Movie Review: The Great Gatsby

With Luhrmann’s Gatsby, you get what you pay for.... Almost.

Genre: Drama. Rated: M

What’s It All About? F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1920's New York-set classic novel about the mysterious aristocrat Jay Gatsby and those that come into his orbit gets an epic makeover.

The Verdict: It’s not perfect but it is an impressive, engaging adaptation and less excessive than you might think.

3.5/5.0 from me, David.

Firstly a bit of perspective. Some critics have lashed out at Baz Luhrmann labelling his adaptation of The Great Gatsby overblown. Each to their own but let’s face it, complaining about a Baz Luhrmann film being over the top is akin to objecting to New Orleans during Mardi Gras season. Both are going to be extravagant, gaudy, raucous, big and bombastic. You get what you pay for.



Party like it's 1920-something



And Luhrmann’s Gatsby with thanks in no small part to his partner in life and artistry Catherine Martin is all of those things - to a point, around the mid way point that is. But after most of the frenetic party scenes have passed, the film becomes much more sedate than you’d expect a Luhrmann film to be - a point glossed over by some critics – as the pace slows considerably to concentrate on the drama.

"Complaining about a Baz Luhrmann film being over the top is akin to objecting to New Orleans during Mardi Gras season. Both are going to be extravagant, gaudy, raucous, big and bombastic. You get what you pay for." 

 

Luhrmann could never be characterised as a restrained director but in this case, he has reigned himself in, in part. In fact if you were expecting an entirely in-your-face Luhrmann experience you might ask for half the ticket price back.



All  that glitters....



I confess I’m not exactly a fan of Luhrmann’s films – I found Moulin Rouge and Australia too excessive (I’m the pot calling the kettle black here I know) and the latter laughably cringe-worthy. Conversely, Luhrmann’s hugely creative approach to bring Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet alive for a new generation was I thought, inspired.

And that approach is undoubtedly his aim in this adaptation of the American literary classic - to shake the story up in a big way, backed by a characteristically modern soundtrack. And this Gatsby if nothing else is far more involving that the most recent adaptation of the novel – 1974’s fairly dull sudser starring Robert Redford and Mia Farrow. Luhrmann’s version featuring a charismatic performance from Leonardo DiCaprio as Gatsby, not surprisingly makes its predecessor look positively dead on arrival.



Kiss me you fool



I didn’t have a problem with Luhrmann’s over-the-top approach to Jay Gatsby’s opulence because in this case it’s fitting for the story (after all, isn’t that what opulence is?). The parties, the excess, the hedonism and the larger-than-life depiction of all are a kind of thinly veiled allegory for Jay Gatsby himself. He’s a man who isn’t what he seems, his opulence simply a facade masking grand delusions of a truly happy, contented life.

The theme of longings manufactured, experienced and ultimately dashed is one that runs through the story; our narrator Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire, Spiderman) gets a taste of high society but he’ll never belong to it. His cousin Daisy (Carey Mulligan, Never Let Me Go) finds that love proves a tragically pragmatic notion and all the money and hopefulness in the world can never buy Gatsby what he so desires, to have Daisy by his side.



King of the world!



Purists of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel will no doubt object to Luhrmann’s creative licence – the 3D friendly camera swoops, the Jay Z-centric soundtrack for example – but again, they’re points that seem moot in light of Luhrmann’s track record.

While some of the cast’s performances are laid on with a larger-than-life brush, others are nonetheless impressively nuanced; standouts for me were Mulligan, Joel Edgerton (Zero Dark Thirty) as Daisy’s brutish, womanising husband Tom and Elizabeth Debicki (A Few Best Men) reminiscent of a young Cate Blanchett as their sporting socialite friend Jordan Baker.

Yes, at almost two and a half hours this Gatsby is much too long but an epic running time is also a Luhrmann trait. Like I said, you get what you pay for.